If you need an apology …

If you need an apology you don’t understand the basic premise of forgiveness. Granting forgiveness has nothing to do the the feelings or actions of the person you are forgiving. The offender is not required to be repentant , sorry or even aware that you have a problem. My grandmother painted us all a sign for our homes it reads “I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men.”

Forgiveness is not based on the offender. It is the choice of the offended to move forward without malice. Letting go of the anger can be private. You can make the decision, forgive the behavior and move on without  ever speaking to, or about the situation. You see, forgiveness is simply removing the pain. You choose to heal. You don’t say what the offender did was right, okay, or allowable. You simply to choose to heal with no malice.

This is a powerful tool and it takes practice. You are in total control of your thoughts, desires and actions. The only way to take the power back from an offending situation is to choose to forgive and do it. Once you master it, it becomes a gentler way of life.

You are offended, angry, hurt and rightfully so. You have the power to choose to let go of the negativity and move on. You also have the power to loving choose to avoid the source of former pain.

Some of you may be very uncomfortable with this premise. It is not about letting the offender “get away with it”. It is about you healing. It is also important to note that this post is about giving forgiveness, not about asking for forgiveness. They are two very different things.



6 thoughts on “If you need an apology …

  1. I wholeheartedly agree, forgiveness is primarily for our own benefit, so we can move forward. It took me a long time to realize this, but I’ve had some great lessons to learn from!

  2. I had to write two books to get even started on the right foot! LOL. Once you get it life gets easier.

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