Dealing with a cheating heart

Life would be significantly different if there were not “cheating hearts”. In fact, society as a whole would be very changed without those experiences. Think of television programming. What would a soap opera be all those couples just being faithful? What would be happening on Desperate Housewives? How many blues songs would have remained unwritten? Country music would certainly have to march to a beat of a different drummer. The impact is probably more painful and realistic when you break it down to a personal level.

Each cheating situation has its own twist, but the result is still the same. There is a breach of trust. Even if your partner never finds out you cheated, you have lost trust in yourself. The relationship is certainly broken.

The obvious question, “Is this relationship one that both of you want to fix?” If the answer is yes, here are a number of things you need to consider.

Are both parties capable of forgiveness?

Will you be patient enough to rebuild the trust?

Are you willing to get professional help?

Are you able to keep the cheating conversation out of every argument in the future?

Can you trust yourself?

Can you accept some responsibility for what happened?

Can both of you ever be 100% committed?


It is incredibly hard to make this relationship work. On the other hand, if you can work through this, the strength in your relationship becomes rock solid.

Perhaps for some this is just a natural course of events. If the relationship were never based on honesty and trust infidelity wouldn’t be much of a surprise. It still hurts, but many times there are signs along the way. Maybe it is a way out of a bad situation.

Are there some couples that can survive infidelity? Yes. It is generally connected with a deep religious conviction or awakening. Those types of beliefs rely on love and forgiveness, and can be an asset in repairing the broken relationship. So perhaps the key to dealing with a cheating heart to go find religion, get a good counselor, and work it out.

To those couples who choose to sever the relationship and do it with kindness and dignity , “Congratulations, you deserve and earned; respect.”



Hank Williams gave us a little advice when it comes to a cheatin’ heart. You may want to hum a bar or two if you find yourself looking.


“Your cheatin’ heart will tell on you

Your cheatin’ heart will make you weep

You’ll cry and cry and try to sleep

But sleep won’t come the whole night through

Your cheatin’ heart will tell on you

When tears come down like falling rain

You’ll toss around and call my name

You’ll walk the floor the way

do your cheatin’ heart will tell on you

When tears come down…

Your cheatin’ heart will tell on you”

Make the decision that works best in your life. Make the decision that both of you can live with. Remember the reason to stay married is that both parties are committed to each other, not family members and children.


One thought on “Dealing with a cheating heart

  1. Thank you for writing such a great post! I love how you wrote about a breach of trust, and how that also includes the loss of trust in yourself where your partner isn’t even aware that you cheated. It’s a sad fact that tv and media in general is so full of unfaithful relationships it might appear that hardly anyone is faithful these days. It would be great to see so much air-time devoted to strong, healthy relationships but I guess that doesn’t make for such entertaining viewing. Thankfully, I don’t think those tv shows are truly representative of real life. Even with the advent of the ‘dating’ site AshleyMadison I still think most couples set out planning and hoping to remain monogamous. It reminds me of the song from my youth by Jimmy Buffett – Escape (The Pina Coladas song): perhaps if someone feels the desire to cheat they should rediscover how sexy and exciting their partner is instead.

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