It’s not okay, stop saying it is

I really do wish that everything was okay. In fact, I wish that just in this moment, I could feel like everything is okay. But it is not okay. Nothing right now in this moment feels right. Telling me that it is okay is not helping. It simply makes me feel invisible. In general, I think that is what we do with people in society that are not happy, we just make them invisible a move on.

Oh, I get that you can not fix the entire world. I get that there are millions of people who have it worse than me and I have no right to be sad, feel invisible, helpless and still today, at this moment that is how I feel.

If I had a wand I could heal my brother, I could heal my brother-in-law, I could stop all the fighting about what lives matter and what lives don’t matter. I would, with my wand, heal all those marriages where couples really love each other, but have somehow gotten lost. I could tell the people, whom I trusted, that they hurt me in ways they don’t begin to comprehend and with my wand, I could let them feel it for just a moment. Some many things come to mind if I just had that wand, but I don’t.

I have a broken spirit, a broken heart and I am invisible. I can not cry. I can not stop. Too many people need me to step up and do the right thing. They keep providing happy little answers to really complex issues. When someone says what is wrong and the answer is everything, what are they suppose to reply?

I will post it. It will be invisible. What will happen? I wish I knew.

There is no reflection in the mirror.

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2 thoughts on “It’s not okay, stop saying it is

  1. Trenna. You are not invisible. If you were, I would not have found you.
    I have no answers for you: pain is a natural occurrence in humans, and it’s even worse when people we trust cause it. If I could, I would wave my wand and make it all better; unfortunately, my wand and crystal ball are both broken.
    Will a hug suffice?

  2. Trenna, I wrote this comment on where this post showed up on my FB newsfeed : It really isn’t okay though in time, it will be one way or other. Only what I … myself … have learned in the harshness Life offers sometimes.

    Then, I came here to follow and read.

    My Heart hurts to read your pain. I care so much and I wish I had that old magic wand, also … to wave it over your life to make your brother, brother-in-law well. You know me through time and know that Life has touched my life with such pain … I know it only too well, and when I see others hurting … I can’t help but to care.

    I came here to let you know I care, I noticed you … you aren’t invisible. I noticed you, your writing a long time ago when we wrote at the same site. You are real … I admire that. Love, Gloria

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