I really do wish that everything was okay. In fact, I wish that just in this moment, I could feel like everything is okay. But it is not okay. Nothing right now in this moment feels right. Telling me that it is okay is not helping. It simply makes me feel invisible. In general, I think that is what we do with people in society that are not happy, we just make them invisible a move on.
Oh, I get that you can not fix the entire world. I get that there are millions of people who have it worse than me and I have no right to be sad, feel invisible, helpless and still today, at this moment that is how I feel.
If I had a wand I could heal my brother, I could heal my brother-in-law, I could stop all the fighting about what lives matter and what lives don’t matter. I would, with my wand, heal all those marriages where couples really love each other, but have somehow gotten lost. I could tell the people, whom I trusted, that they hurt me in ways they don’t begin to comprehend and with my wand, I could let them feel it for just a moment. Some many things come to mind if I just had that wand, but I don’t.
I have a broken spirit, a broken heart and I am invisible. I can not cry. I can not stop. Too many people need me to step up and do the right thing. They keep providing happy little answers to really complex issues. When someone says what is wrong and the answer is everything, what are they suppose to reply?
I will post it. It will be invisible. What will happen? I wish I knew.
There is no reflection in the mirror.